And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
