Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
