He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
