ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
