guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
