Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
