Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
