xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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