btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
