I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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