But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
