you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
