I seem to have left my pride at pride
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
