I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
