it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
