1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize