Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
