The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
sex in a hospital.. check
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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