party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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