dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
