Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
