his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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