So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
