If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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