Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
