Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
