somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
