Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
