and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
