if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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