Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
