Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
