Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
