The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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