so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
