he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
