but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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