just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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