enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
