D3 body, D1 cock
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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