Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
