You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
