You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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