Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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