The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
