My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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