Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
