just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
