I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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