Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
